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I love and support the writing done by Joquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery. I think what they wrote is a beautiful series and I think that the vision they had for Voltron when writing it had to have been something magnificent. That said, I am among the unsurprising many who is extremely disappointed in the events that unfolded in season eight. My major concerns are these
- stories that were originally being set up were not followed through with
- certain characters were portrayed in an “out of character” fashion.
- the various patchworking of certain aspects of the series that seem to lack particular forethought
- and of course, I strongly am in favour that most of season 8 was meddled with by corporate executives who refused to let JDS and LM tell the story that they wanted.
The following is a “bandage meta”–a re-outlining of canon events that I feel would make more sense for the story that what was told. I will admit outright that this is a biased revision of the story and my biases are just a result of the kind of writing I’m doing. However, I intend to keep as close to canon as possible. I’m only starting as early as s7 for two reasons: to give the story I’m rebuilding some extra ground to stand on and to fix some pacing issues.
Format:
s#e# “Original title” [revised episode count:]s#e#
Problems: An outline of major issues with the episode, doing my best to detail my personal reason for changing these things. Episodes marked with “none” does not mean it’s flawless, but rather that there are no glaring issues I want to resolve.
Solution: How I would fix the aforementioned things.
- stories that were originally being set up were not followed through with
- certain characters were portrayed in an “out of character” fashion.
- the various patchworking of certain aspects of the series that seem to lack particular forethought
- and of course, I strongly am in favour that most of season 8 was meddled with by corporate executives who refused to let JDS and LM tell the story that they wanted.
The following is a “bandage meta”–a re-outlining of canon events that I feel would make more sense for the story that what was told. I will admit outright that this is a biased revision of the story and my biases are just a result of the kind of writing I’m doing. However, I intend to keep as close to canon as possible. I’m only starting as early as s7 for two reasons: to give the story I’m rebuilding some extra ground to stand on and to fix some pacing issues.
Format:
s#e# “Original title” [revised episode count:]s#e#
Problems: An outline of major issues with the episode, doing my best to detail my personal reason for changing these things. Episodes marked with “none” does not mean it’s flawless, but rather that there are no glaring issues I want to resolve.
Solution: How I would fix the aforementioned things.
PROBLEMS: Overall a strong episode, however the amount of back-and-forth in this episode made it jarring, from Shiro’s dreams to Keith’s perspective to the Yalmor shenanigans, the viewer is put through more whiplash than should be considered necessary
SOLUTION: This episode should be split in two!
Episode one: Keith and Shiro’s story. Adam is given a greater role as a positive figure in Shiro’s life and a relationship is established also between Keith and Adam–namely that they are acquainted with each other. Additionally, more time should have been taken to make keith look as though he were growing up during this course of events instead of permanently 14 like the episode suggests. At the end of the dream, it should have ended with the easter egg from an earlier seaso, with keith (at 17yo) and Shiro at the launch site of the shuttle to Kerberos, with them just talking about the mission and giving us insight on shiro and why he wants to go to kerberos so badly. Shiro wakes up to just Keith and Krolia, the latter stepping out for a bit.
I also think the talk that was previously in “the Black Paladins” from the previous season should be cut from this episode to make way for other things; perhaps establishing some more of the relationship Shiro has with Matt and Sam.
Episode two: The first 12-15 minutes of the episode are spent on the yalmor shenanigans which stays mostly the same. After the yalmor shenanigans and everyone seeing Shiro again, everyone gets to hug the poor man as a group, starting with a sobbing lance and ending with even Krolia getting in on it. They segway into the conversation that originally starts off episode 2, ending it with the “implications” of the lion shenanigans as they fly into space, ending the episode on a humorous note.
SOLUTION: This episode should be split in two!
Episode one: Keith and Shiro’s story. Adam is given a greater role as a positive figure in Shiro’s life and a relationship is established also between Keith and Adam–namely that they are acquainted with each other. Additionally, more time should have been taken to make keith look as though he were growing up during this course of events instead of permanently 14 like the episode suggests. At the end of the dream, it should have ended with the easter egg from an earlier seaso, with keith (at 17yo) and Shiro at the launch site of the shuttle to Kerberos, with them just talking about the mission and giving us insight on shiro and why he wants to go to kerberos so badly. Shiro wakes up to just Keith and Krolia, the latter stepping out for a bit.
I also think the talk that was previously in “the Black Paladins” from the previous season should be cut from this episode to make way for other things; perhaps establishing some more of the relationship Shiro has with Matt and Sam.
Episode two: The first 12-15 minutes of the episode are spent on the yalmor shenanigans which stays mostly the same. After the yalmor shenanigans and everyone seeing Shiro again, everyone gets to hug the poor man as a group, starting with a sobbing lance and ending with even Krolia getting in on it. They segway into the conversation that originally starts off episode 2, ending it with the “implications” of the lion shenanigans as they fly into space, ending the episode on a humorous note.
Edited 2019-01-06 19:38 (UTC)
Problems: A LOT of wasted time.
Solution: I’ve already split the previous episode into two and included the first half of this episode in the second episode of the split. As such, I’m actually just voiding this episode entirely, and moving the second half of this plotline into the beginning of the upcoming episode!
Solution: I’ve already split the previous episode into two and included the first half of this episode in the second episode of the split. As such, I’m actually just voiding this episode entirely, and moving the second half of this plotline into the beginning of the upcoming episode!
Edited 2019-01-06 19:39 (UTC)
Problems: The addition of the chase scene from the previous episode actually makes this an overly tight fit; however I don’t personally have qualms with the episode as a whole.
Solution: With a few MINOR cuts made here and there just to shorten exceptionally lengthy scenes, everything remains the same. The episode instead ends with acxa and keith escaping together.
Solution: With a few MINOR cuts made here and there just to shorten exceptionally lengthy scenes, everything remains the same. The episode instead ends with acxa and keith escaping together.
Problems: Again, moving things from the previous episode into this one results in needing to cut time from the original episode. My other problem with this episode is the lack of inclusion of Shiro and Coran, who have been apart of the team since the beginning of the series. I also feel like this episode wasn’t especially well executed and comes off as a bit grating, and so my fixes are extremely biased.
Solution: The last part of the previous episode takes place through the lions instead of landed on a planet, and during the conversation every person is swept up in Bob’s game show of “Garfle Warfle Snick” where instead they are made to go against each other.
Team a: Keith, Shiro, Acxa, Krolia, Lance // Team b: Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Coran, Romelle
Kosmo starts on team B, which lance complains about: “Hey! That’s not fair, you guys have six people!!!” Kosmo, seeing Keith, switches himself to team A. While Lance is looking quite pleased with himself, Hunk ribs “Oh so NOW it’s fair.”
Coran and Acxa do the drawing game. Keith&Shiro go up against Hunk&Romelle on a 2v2 racing game which Hunk & Romelle destroy at; Lance and Allura go head to head in a quiz off, which Allura accidentally puts Lance into the acid vat and feels TERRIBLE about it. Pidge and Krolia end up doing the golf game together, meant to be competitors but ultimately team up without even sharing a word and attacking bob and the crew with kosmo’s sudden help.
Lotor appears as a guest on the show at the very end to deliver the final question; they bring acxa up and lotor reminds her of every awful thing that Voltron has done to them and the history that theyve had, highlighting that it was himself that had taken acxa in and that if he were still alive, the galra empire would not have fallen like it did. After sowing a seed of doubt, he asks “Tell me… how would you describe the Paladins.”
Acxa pauses, looking at the paladins anxiously, and then frowns at lotor. She shuts down his criticism of the paladins, shuts down his treatment of her as harmful, calls him out for what he’d done; and then gestures at the paladins: “These people… They’re a family, Lotor.” Lotor smiles and wordlessly leaves the stage as bob announces that both teams are the winners.
Solution: The last part of the previous episode takes place through the lions instead of landed on a planet, and during the conversation every person is swept up in Bob’s game show of “Garfle Warfle Snick” where instead they are made to go against each other.
Team a: Keith, Shiro, Acxa, Krolia, Lance // Team b: Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Coran, Romelle
Kosmo starts on team B, which lance complains about: “Hey! That’s not fair, you guys have six people!!!” Kosmo, seeing Keith, switches himself to team A. While Lance is looking quite pleased with himself, Hunk ribs “Oh so NOW it’s fair.”
Coran and Acxa do the drawing game. Keith&Shiro go up against Hunk&Romelle on a 2v2 racing game which Hunk & Romelle destroy at; Lance and Allura go head to head in a quiz off, which Allura accidentally puts Lance into the acid vat and feels TERRIBLE about it. Pidge and Krolia end up doing the golf game together, meant to be competitors but ultimately team up without even sharing a word and attacking bob and the crew with kosmo’s sudden help.
Lotor appears as a guest on the show at the very end to deliver the final question; they bring acxa up and lotor reminds her of every awful thing that Voltron has done to them and the history that theyve had, highlighting that it was himself that had taken acxa in and that if he were still alive, the galra empire would not have fallen like it did. After sowing a seed of doubt, he asks “Tell me… how would you describe the Paladins.”
Acxa pauses, looking at the paladins anxiously, and then frowns at lotor. She shuts down his criticism of the paladins, shuts down his treatment of her as harmful, calls him out for what he’d done; and then gestures at the paladins: “These people… They’re a family, Lotor.” Lotor smiles and wordlessly leaves the stage as bob announces that both teams are the winners.
Problems: None! I love this episode. My only issue is the particularly interesting and unexplained reason that Keith some how senses Macidus’s presence despite not being able to see him.
Solution: For now, none; I’ll try to rework this idea into a later episode and will make a note of it.
Solution: For now, none; I’ll try to rework this idea into a later episode and will make a note of it.
Problems: The entire episode. This episode has its charming moments, but ultimately is anticlimactic and doesn’t prove much. Most of the episode is spent with the paladins yelling at each other and disagreeing for no good reason at all; with Hunk proving to be a better leader of the five than Keith.
Solutions: I’m doing an entire episode rewrite
“Campfire Stories”
The episode starts off on a dark planet, surrounded by the Lions and chatting lightly; theyre only a couple weeks away from home at this point, with pidge mentioning that they’re lucky they found a planet this close to earth with a similar enough atmosphere that they can all relax. Lance, excited, suggests they all tell campfire stories in an enthusiastic tone; needing to explain the ritual to Allura, Coran, and Romelle. Romelle remarks that they do something similar, but it isn’t common practice to make up stories, and instead tell stories about their own lives. Shiro seconds the idea, saying he’d like to hear more about the paladins.
The first story is from Coran, “You’re all in luck then, because Old Coran here has more than just a few good anecdotes, many featuring our very own princess Allura.” She blushes, but submits.
[ A story about allura–im thinking bringing home a wild animal]
The next scene out of the memory is of them flying through space past a beautiful planet. While they’re looking, Lance interrupts abruptly to ask Hunk to tell that hilarious story about his first crush. Hunk, laughs and says “Oh gosh, okay okay alright. This one’s pretty bad you guys so don’t laugh too hard at me…. “
[ A story about hunk–his first crush ]
The paladins are on the last leg of their journey. Shiro comments that time seems to have gone by a lot quicker since they started telling stories about themselves, and all the paladins agree. Pidge, voice sassy, says “well, we still have a few hours left. How about one or two more before we make it home? I’ve got a GREAT story about Matt that’s gonna’ have you guys in stitches.”
[ A story about Pidge & Matt ]
The episode ends the same as the original episode does, approaching earth. “Whatever happens guys, remember,” Keith says before the episode ends, “We’ll always be family.”
Solutions: I’m doing an entire episode rewrite
“Campfire Stories”
The episode starts off on a dark planet, surrounded by the Lions and chatting lightly; theyre only a couple weeks away from home at this point, with pidge mentioning that they’re lucky they found a planet this close to earth with a similar enough atmosphere that they can all relax. Lance, excited, suggests they all tell campfire stories in an enthusiastic tone; needing to explain the ritual to Allura, Coran, and Romelle. Romelle remarks that they do something similar, but it isn’t common practice to make up stories, and instead tell stories about their own lives. Shiro seconds the idea, saying he’d like to hear more about the paladins.
The first story is from Coran, “You’re all in luck then, because Old Coran here has more than just a few good anecdotes, many featuring our very own princess Allura.” She blushes, but submits.
[ A story about allura–im thinking bringing home a wild animal]
The next scene out of the memory is of them flying through space past a beautiful planet. While they’re looking, Lance interrupts abruptly to ask Hunk to tell that hilarious story about his first crush. Hunk, laughs and says “Oh gosh, okay okay alright. This one’s pretty bad you guys so don’t laugh too hard at me…. “
[ A story about hunk–his first crush ]
The paladins are on the last leg of their journey. Shiro comments that time seems to have gone by a lot quicker since they started telling stories about themselves, and all the paladins agree. Pidge, voice sassy, says “well, we still have a few hours left. How about one or two more before we make it home? I’ve got a GREAT story about Matt that’s gonna’ have you guys in stitches.”
[ A story about Pidge & Matt ]
The episode ends the same as the original episode does, approaching earth. “Whatever happens guys, remember,” Keith says before the episode ends, “We’ll always be family.”
RESOLVED: s8e1
Problems: Shiro’s helmet is inexplicibly missing. I take major offense to this
Solution: Shiro is actually wearing his helmet when they land back on earth.
Addition: Adam’s “death” will be resolved in this episode. The scene which Shiro visits the memorial is instead replaced with Shiro visiting the hospital quietly, and we’re reintroduced to Adam who has been paralyzed from the hips down. He explains that he had just barely survived the war and suffered a great deal of damage; commenting on how Shiro didn’t look like he faired much better. Adam admits his sorrow about losing his ability to walk, as it has prevented him from ever flying again. Shiro, with a smile, clasps him on the shoulder and says, “When you’re feeling up to it, I’ll see to it that you can live your dreams again.”
In order to make room for the scene, a little bit would need to be trimmed. I would propose cutting back on some of the “suspense” moments in the episode, particular as they’re first traversing earth.
Problems: Shiro’s helmet is inexplicibly missing. I take major offense to this
Solution: Shiro is actually wearing his helmet when they land back on earth.
Addition: Adam’s “death” will be resolved in this episode. The scene which Shiro visits the memorial is instead replaced with Shiro visiting the hospital quietly, and we’re reintroduced to Adam who has been paralyzed from the hips down. He explains that he had just barely survived the war and suffered a great deal of damage; commenting on how Shiro didn’t look like he faired much better. Adam admits his sorrow about losing his ability to walk, as it has prevented him from ever flying again. Shiro, with a smile, clasps him on the shoulder and says, “When you’re feeling up to it, I’ll see to it that you can live your dreams again.”
In order to make room for the scene, a little bit would need to be trimmed. I would propose cutting back on some of the “suspense” moments in the episode, particular as they’re first traversing earth.
RESOLVED: s8e4
Problems: None; mostly….
Additions: Two things….
I’m reintroducing the white lion plotline in this episode. While disrupting the control crystal on Sendak’s ship, a roar is heard. Shiro’s eyes, closed in pain originally, open to reveal a cat like look (similar to how Keith’s eyes changed in “The Black Paladins”) before a sudden surge of energy ultimately completes the disruption.
Keith, when swooping in to stop Sendak from killing Shiro, also receives a very brief moment where the audience is clued in again that Keith seems to have some ability to sense quintessence.
Problems: None; mostly….
Additions: Two things….
I’m reintroducing the white lion plotline in this episode. While disrupting the control crystal on Sendak’s ship, a roar is heard. Shiro’s eyes, closed in pain originally, open to reveal a cat like look (similar to how Keith’s eyes changed in “The Black Paladins”) before a sudden surge of energy ultimately completes the disruption.
Keith, when swooping in to stop Sendak from killing Shiro, also receives a very brief moment where the audience is clued in again that Keith seems to have some ability to sense quintessence.
RESOLVED: s8e5
Problems: The robot fight scene is too long.
Solution: I want to fill the episode with more paladin bonding than the robot fight; namely I’d like to cut back on it enough to introduce the drama that Keith hasn’t woken up yet at the end of the episode. All of the paladins are there to hear the information, informed that it may just take time for Keith to fully recover. Shiro dismisses the paladins to go back and rest, as they all need it; but sits down on Keith’s bed and remains there. Briefly, we’re met with a scene of Adam in his grays about to roll in to meet with Shiro, but seeing the look in Shiro’s eyes, smiles and changes his mind.
Addition: I also think that, when Shiro establishes his connection to Atlas that there should be another reference to the white lion with him, starting with an overlay of the white lion appearing with his yellow eyes, and a small roar echoing through the beginning of the transformation scene, and ending on a bigger roar when the transformation is complete. I would consider this as “finalizing” the white lion plot.
Problems: The robot fight scene is too long.
Solution: I want to fill the episode with more paladin bonding than the robot fight; namely I’d like to cut back on it enough to introduce the drama that Keith hasn’t woken up yet at the end of the episode. All of the paladins are there to hear the information, informed that it may just take time for Keith to fully recover. Shiro dismisses the paladins to go back and rest, as they all need it; but sits down on Keith’s bed and remains there. Briefly, we’re met with a scene of Adam in his grays about to roll in to meet with Shiro, but seeing the look in Shiro’s eyes, smiles and changes his mind.
Addition: I also think that, when Shiro establishes his connection to Atlas that there should be another reference to the white lion with him, starting with an overlay of the white lion appearing with his yellow eyes, and a small roar echoing through the beginning of the transformation scene, and ending on a bigger roar when the transformation is complete. I would consider this as “finalizing” the white lion plot.
Edited 2019-01-06 19:57 (UTC)
RESOLVED: s8e6
Problems: the idea of Lance only asking Allura out six months later is absolutely ridiculous and I hate it. Also, it focuses too much on the romantic aspect, which had never really been a forefront of the storytelling in Voltron. We honestly deserved to see all our paladins equally in this “last day on earth” style episode.
Solution: The episode is split into parts, a bit like the “tales of ba sing sei” episode from Avatar the Last Airbender
Part one: Keith and Shiro. The scene opens up to Keith standing outside his father’s house, looking at it as it has become worse over time. A hoverbike zooms in from the distance, Shiro approaching in casual wear. For a moment, they look at the house before Shiro comments “Everything started here,” before asking Keith if they can talk. He brings up the events from “the Black Paladins” with some remorse, understanding that what he said was not anything that he’d meant. “I haven’t forgotten what you said either, Keith.” he admits with a smile. The scene backs out on the two of them hugging.
Part two: The mice! A hijinks skit highlighting the progression of the rebuilding efforts by the coalition. The mice are up to trouble as they dodge in and out of each mini scene and ultimately, accidentally dismantle a large portion of the rebuilding efforts. The skit also features a better look into Pidge, Coran, and Hunk’s relationship as builders, and highlights Matt as well. At the end of the episode, a building collapses, Colleen enacting a classic Buster Keaton skit, barely avoiding being crushed by the falling building, before freaking out on her children for screwing around.
Part three: Allura and Lance. Skipping over the melodrama from the beginning of the episode, it cuts to Lance FREAKING out about his date with Allura to Veronica. She assures him hell be alright and compliments him on how muchThis portion of the episode covers only the dinner date with family and the kiss under the tree.
Part four: Romelle. The skit begins at the six months later point with Shiro’s speech that was originally set at the beginning of this episode. It follows Romelle to the meeting with Luca and covers the same information we’re given by the end of the episode. It ends with the paladins being featured in their new outfits.
Problems: the idea of Lance only asking Allura out six months later is absolutely ridiculous and I hate it. Also, it focuses too much on the romantic aspect, which had never really been a forefront of the storytelling in Voltron. We honestly deserved to see all our paladins equally in this “last day on earth” style episode.
Solution: The episode is split into parts, a bit like the “tales of ba sing sei” episode from Avatar the Last Airbender
Part one: Keith and Shiro. The scene opens up to Keith standing outside his father’s house, looking at it as it has become worse over time. A hoverbike zooms in from the distance, Shiro approaching in casual wear. For a moment, they look at the house before Shiro comments “Everything started here,” before asking Keith if they can talk. He brings up the events from “the Black Paladins” with some remorse, understanding that what he said was not anything that he’d meant. “I haven’t forgotten what you said either, Keith.” he admits with a smile. The scene backs out on the two of them hugging.
Part two: The mice! A hijinks skit highlighting the progression of the rebuilding efforts by the coalition. The mice are up to trouble as they dodge in and out of each mini scene and ultimately, accidentally dismantle a large portion of the rebuilding efforts. The skit also features a better look into Pidge, Coran, and Hunk’s relationship as builders, and highlights Matt as well. At the end of the episode, a building collapses, Colleen enacting a classic Buster Keaton skit, barely avoiding being crushed by the falling building, before freaking out on her children for screwing around.
Part three: Allura and Lance. Skipping over the melodrama from the beginning of the episode, it cuts to Lance FREAKING out about his date with Allura to Veronica. She assures him hell be alright and compliments him on how muchThis portion of the episode covers only the dinner date with family and the kiss under the tree.
Part four: Romelle. The skit begins at the six months later point with Shiro’s speech that was originally set at the beginning of this episode. It follows Romelle to the meeting with Luca and covers the same information we’re given by the end of the episode. It ends with the paladins being featured in their new outfits.
RESOLVED: s9e2
Problems: None. Keith's quintessence sensitivity probably could have come into play here.
Addition: Adam has now been added as an official member of the bridge crew after reinstating his enlistment with the Galaxy Garrison, working as the coordination and communication lead on the bridge now and replaces Curtis’ role in the story.
Problems: None. Keith's quintessence sensitivity probably could have come into play here.
Addition: Adam has now been added as an official member of the bridge crew after reinstating his enlistment with the Galaxy Garrison, working as the coordination and communication lead on the bridge now and replaces Curtis’ role in the story.
Edited 2019-01-07 04:14 (UTC)
RESOLVED: s9e3
Problems: Splitting up the team is just stupid,. There’s no reason for them to be separated for this portion of the series, and barely a rationale for it in the upcoming episode. In addition, the entire plotline with the olkari ends on a totally bogus note
Solution: A brief episode rewrite:
Since Earth had been set free, it had become top priority n to get in contact with the Olkari, but mysteriously none of the messages are getting through even after they’re able to confirm that their satellites are able to reach that far. This is addressed in a scene between Shiro, Adam, and Veronica. Adam and Coran leave to resolve some signal issues in the communications room, leaving Veronica and Shiro a moment to talk about Adam. Veronica teases that they “seem to be getting along” before Shiro reveals with a smile that they’d both moved on. Iverson announces they’re approaching Olkarion now and Voltron goes down
The Weblum catches the Atlas off guard unexpectedly, shifting a loose satellite board in the communication room and knocking Coran unconscious from the impact. Adam ends up, consequently, stuck in the room with Coran because of how the board and Coran fell and the satellite board disconnected.
The plot continues normally except that the issue becomes that no one is able to contact the atlas temporarily. Pidge pursues the same information, but this time faster (condensing the episode heavily). The same information about the robeast is learned, and in a last moment, Pidge is also able to uncover the potential location of the Olkari. The weblum destroys the Planet and the Atlas sets off again.
Problems: Splitting up the team is just stupid,. There’s no reason for them to be separated for this portion of the series, and barely a rationale for it in the upcoming episode. In addition, the entire plotline with the olkari ends on a totally bogus note
Solution: A brief episode rewrite:
Since Earth had been set free, it had become top priority n to get in contact with the Olkari, but mysteriously none of the messages are getting through even after they’re able to confirm that their satellites are able to reach that far. This is addressed in a scene between Shiro, Adam, and Veronica. Adam and Coran leave to resolve some signal issues in the communications room, leaving Veronica and Shiro a moment to talk about Adam. Veronica teases that they “seem to be getting along” before Shiro reveals with a smile that they’d both moved on. Iverson announces they’re approaching Olkarion now and Voltron goes down
The Weblum catches the Atlas off guard unexpectedly, shifting a loose satellite board in the communication room and knocking Coran unconscious from the impact. Adam ends up, consequently, stuck in the room with Coran because of how the board and Coran fell and the satellite board disconnected.
The plot continues normally except that the issue becomes that no one is able to contact the atlas temporarily. Pidge pursues the same information, but this time faster (condensing the episode heavily). The same information about the robeast is learned, and in a last moment, Pidge is also able to uncover the potential location of the Olkari. The weblum destroys the Planet and the Atlas sets off again.
RESOLVED: s9e4
Problems: So Many Details. This e the storyline that make this episode grating. Worst of all is the treatement shiro receives in this episode, working as the ultimate proof that Shiro is being torn away from the other paladins
Solution: Another rewritepisode’s plotline is great, but there are pieces scattered through out
Due to concerns about the safety of the Olkari in the particular region they’re suspected to be located at, team Voltron scouts ahead to the new location, splitting up Voltron and Atlas more reasonably for this episode. For the most part this episode plays out the same–the olkari location turns out to have been another trap laid. During this time, “Keith” reports that the Olkari left a bread crumb trail to their location, and that Voltron is going to pursue the path alone a little longer; effectively slowing down the Atlas’s progress.
The story follows Veronica and Acxa the same way as before. By the time Shiro gets the second transmission, Adam asks Shiro if something’s the matter, which Shiro declines. By the third transmission, Shiro knows exactly what’s wrong, and demands full throttle to Voltron’s location.
The story on the toxic planet follows also the same plotline up until Zethrid, Keith, Shiro, and Acxa all meet at the Volcano. Acxa tries to reason with Zethrid, but Zethrid still wants revenge for what Keith did to Ezor. Keith screams, “Shiro get out of here!” Zethrid’s gun flares with light. Acxa cries out to Zethrid. Before anyone knows what happens, the gun flies out of Zethrid’s hand as it fires, in the exact same moment as another gun fires from Veronica’s location. Keith escapes and stumbles into Shiro’s arms.
Zethrid, startled by the gun and shot by Veronica, stumbles back and begins to fall, but is caught at the last minute bu someone nobody expected: Ezor smiles and grunts, the damage clear on her face: “Sorry I didn’t come sooner.” Keith and Shiro help the two of them up.
Problems: So Many Details. This e the storyline that make this episode grating. Worst of all is the treatement shiro receives in this episode, working as the ultimate proof that Shiro is being torn away from the other paladins
Solution: Another rewritepisode’s plotline is great, but there are pieces scattered through out
Due to concerns about the safety of the Olkari in the particular region they’re suspected to be located at, team Voltron scouts ahead to the new location, splitting up Voltron and Atlas more reasonably for this episode. For the most part this episode plays out the same–the olkari location turns out to have been another trap laid. During this time, “Keith” reports that the Olkari left a bread crumb trail to their location, and that Voltron is going to pursue the path alone a little longer; effectively slowing down the Atlas’s progress.
The story follows Veronica and Acxa the same way as before. By the time Shiro gets the second transmission, Adam asks Shiro if something’s the matter, which Shiro declines. By the third transmission, Shiro knows exactly what’s wrong, and demands full throttle to Voltron’s location.
The story on the toxic planet follows also the same plotline up until Zethrid, Keith, Shiro, and Acxa all meet at the Volcano. Acxa tries to reason with Zethrid, but Zethrid still wants revenge for what Keith did to Ezor. Keith screams, “Shiro get out of here!” Zethrid’s gun flares with light. Acxa cries out to Zethrid. Before anyone knows what happens, the gun flies out of Zethrid’s hand as it fires, in the exact same moment as another gun fires from Veronica’s location. Keith escapes and stumbles into Shiro’s arms.
Zethrid, startled by the gun and shot by Veronica, stumbles back and begins to fall, but is caught at the last minute bu someone nobody expected: Ezor smiles and grunts, the damage clear on her face: “Sorry I didn’t come sooner.” Keith and Shiro help the two of them up.
RESOLVED: s9e5
Adjustment: I’m moving “Day Forty-seven” up to this episode! The whiplash caused by the way episodes are laid out originally here makes it a bit uncomfortable to have the story go from such heavy implications to two very light hearted episodes in a row. As such, I’m judging the episode assuming this new order
Problems: My major issue with this episode is just a lack of Shiro being a normal person. Other than that, I do think this is generally a fun episode that allows for anything.
Solution: really, just the addition of Shiro into any of the casual scenes. In particular I think he should be found hanging out with Keith in the lunch area, and genuinely excited about Kinkade’s video footage and requesting that he share some of his recordings later. “They might just prove useful for Garrison records.”
Addition: The Olkari being pursued further should be mentioned, and I think it would actually be nice if this episode also ended on the people being found: nothing big, just a brief announcement over the intercom from Adam announcing that they’ve found the Olkari settlement with a beautiful little tune to end the episode on.
Adjustment: I’m moving “Day Forty-seven” up to this episode! The whiplash caused by the way episodes are laid out originally here makes it a bit uncomfortable to have the story go from such heavy implications to two very light hearted episodes in a row. As such, I’m judging the episode assuming this new order
Problems: My major issue with this episode is just a lack of Shiro being a normal person. Other than that, I do think this is generally a fun episode that allows for anything.
Solution: really, just the addition of Shiro into any of the casual scenes. In particular I think he should be found hanging out with Keith in the lunch area, and genuinely excited about Kinkade’s video footage and requesting that he share some of his recordings later. “They might just prove useful for Garrison records.”
Addition: The Olkari being pursued further should be mentioned, and I think it would actually be nice if this episode also ended on the people being found: nothing big, just a brief announcement over the intercom from Adam announcing that they’ve found the Olkari settlement with a beautiful little tune to end the episode on.
RESOLVED: s9e6
Adjustment: I’m moving “Genesis” up to this episode, essentially flipping the order with “Day Forty-seven.”
Problems: My major issue becomes the amount of losing that Voltron seems to be doing in this last season; and so this episode puts Voltron at an excessive disadvantage. For the most part the episode is alright, but there are details here and there that should be revised.
Solution: With the Olkari having been found in the previous episode, it gives the Paladins a better way to combat the revised cubes. Because of the interference, it gives the paladins enough time to actually “save” the white lion. However, enough energy was drained from the lion and planets that the effect is still the same; Lotor’s Sincline is brought back from the Quintessence field, but because the last of the Lion’s strength could not be drawn out, Lotor could not be repaired. Her plans ruined, Honerva is forced to retreat. The episode should be framed as a failure for Honerva, but not the last battle she can put out.
All of the Paladins, including Shiro, meet the white lion, dying on oriande. Allura reveals that Oriande cannot survive if the White Lion perishes here, and Lance insists they can save it. Alas, shaking her head, she says it’s life force is too week, and that she would have to give her whole life to bring back a being this powerful. The beast dies, bursting into light that, seemingly inexplicably, flows into Shiro’s right hand, and surges with light.
“What just happened?”
“I… I don’t know,” Shiro breathes.
The planet begins to collapse. The episode ends with Honerva glaring. “This isn’t over yet.”
Adjustment: I’m moving “Genesis” up to this episode, essentially flipping the order with “Day Forty-seven.”
Problems: My major issue becomes the amount of losing that Voltron seems to be doing in this last season; and so this episode puts Voltron at an excessive disadvantage. For the most part the episode is alright, but there are details here and there that should be revised.
Solution: With the Olkari having been found in the previous episode, it gives the Paladins a better way to combat the revised cubes. Because of the interference, it gives the paladins enough time to actually “save” the white lion. However, enough energy was drained from the lion and planets that the effect is still the same; Lotor’s Sincline is brought back from the Quintessence field, but because the last of the Lion’s strength could not be drawn out, Lotor could not be repaired. Her plans ruined, Honerva is forced to retreat. The episode should be framed as a failure for Honerva, but not the last battle she can put out.
All of the Paladins, including Shiro, meet the white lion, dying on oriande. Allura reveals that Oriande cannot survive if the White Lion perishes here, and Lance insists they can save it. Alas, shaking her head, she says it’s life force is too week, and that she would have to give her whole life to bring back a being this powerful. The beast dies, bursting into light that, seemingly inexplicably, flows into Shiro’s right hand, and surges with light.
“What just happened?”
“I… I don’t know,” Shiro breathes.
The planet begins to collapse. The episode ends with Honerva glaring. “This isn’t over yet.”
RESOLVED: s10e1
Problems: My major issue is just that Allura comes off as very out of character for deciding to take on the dark entity in the first place. Allura being egged on by only Lotor and Lance comes off as disingenuous. Besides that, allura just gets no fun during the entirety of s8, and this is the perfect opportunity for her to be happy for a bit!!!
I’m also cutting out Shiro’s armwrestling scene; while it’s nice to see shiro so full of life, it’s been shown that Shiro has PTSD related to the times that he was in the arena. The show hasn’t addressed shiro’s PTSD since season 2, and to pretend it never existed without taking the time to prove that Shiro has overcome his trauma, it comes off as disingenous and yet another flippant disregard of Shiro’s character.
Besides that, I want to fix a lot of other, in my opinion, missed opportunities, and create a new set up to fix continued OOC behaviour
Solution: Episode rewrite
The episode opens to Allura looking at the dark entity nervously, interrupted by hunk. They talk about her worries, and she’s not sure if she wants to go down to the festivities as her mood would just ruin a good time. Hank guffaws, “aw, c’mon allura! It’ll be fun, you’ll forget about everything. Besides, Lance is just going to give you those puppy dog eyes of him until you join us.” Allura laughs and agrees to go. As they leave the room, the camera zooms in on the dark entity beating against the wall. Periodically, the episode cuts back to the dark entity, at one point breaking the glass that contains it.
Allura, Hunk, Pidge, and Lance want to go together; keith insists on patrolling the area in order to make sure everything is safe. Shiro also decides to go off on his own. Before he can leave, Veronica catches Shiro watching Keith leave the group, appears behind Shiro, and gives her friend and captain a little shove. “Go on,” she urges, her eyes going to Keith. “Have fun.”
“I.. I shouldn’t. We agreed to wait until this is all over.”
With a smile, Veronica touches his arm and says, “You should know better than anyone how little time we have to live out our dreams.” With a thank you, Shiro calls after his friend.
Most of the episode is spent on Allura with the other three paladins, having fun with them, to highlight that she is having a good time. Lance trying to win a blue lion plush for her stays, but using a different game (one allura wouldn’t destroy at); and the scene with pidge and colleen stays as well. Allura and Hunk both eye the test of strength, hunk because there’s a HUGE yellow lion. He tries once and doesn’t get it; so allura offers to try, “You really think you’re up for it little lady?” mocks the carnival worker. “I suppose we won’t know until i’ve tried.” Pretending she can’t do it, “oh my, this hammer is quite heavy,” she then proceeds to whack the hell out of it, sending the bell on top right into the sky. They then walk away with hunk blushing and holding his new, massive yellow lion.
Through out the episode, there are cuts to Coran, who is still doing the Yalmor calling competition, but it’s reframed to have the same level of intensity and shadiness as the armwrestling tournament and ultimately replaces that storyline.
The scene cuts to Keith and Shiro playing darts, Keith looking intense as he’s about to throw the dart. He does, nailing a balloon that’s revealed to have one point; keith hollars in defeat and turns to shiro:” “best four out of seven!” Shiro laughs, saying they should play a different game instead.
Shiro comments that he hasn’t seen Keith relax like this in a long time, who answers in kind. “Things have been hard. We haven’t exactly had a break in over a year.” Keith pauses, thinking, before he turns with a smile to Shiro. “But you’re right. Today’s been a lot of fun. I’m glad we hung out, Shiro.” They turn to each other, smiling. Shiro’s arm reaches out, but he’s interrupted by a loud wailing that startles the both of them. “Coran?”
The penultimate scene is Coran winning the yalmor contest, receiving the cheers and celebration of the paladins (AS HE DESERVES). As the excitement dies down, Allura turns her head to the sky and pauses. Shiro, separating himself from the excitement, asks Allura if something is wrong. “...There’s something I’m worried about.”
Shiro and Allura return to the Atlas where they find the dark entity has escaped from its chamber. It breaks free from the holding room and dives toward shiro, but not reaching him before allura jumps in the way, quintessence bursting from her and she suddenly absorbs the dark entity. Shiro catches her
Additions:
because i’m reformatting the energy of why allura takes on the dark entity, the mood around it is being shuffled around entirely. Allura constanting having to defend her bad decision is perhaps one of the worst offenders of allura’s personality as the season progresses from this point, and so changing the mood in which she takes on the dark entity should fix that.
Problems: My major issue is just that Allura comes off as very out of character for deciding to take on the dark entity in the first place. Allura being egged on by only Lotor and Lance comes off as disingenuous. Besides that, allura just gets no fun during the entirety of s8, and this is the perfect opportunity for her to be happy for a bit!!!
I’m also cutting out Shiro’s armwrestling scene; while it’s nice to see shiro so full of life, it’s been shown that Shiro has PTSD related to the times that he was in the arena. The show hasn’t addressed shiro’s PTSD since season 2, and to pretend it never existed without taking the time to prove that Shiro has overcome his trauma, it comes off as disingenous and yet another flippant disregard of Shiro’s character.
Besides that, I want to fix a lot of other, in my opinion, missed opportunities, and create a new set up to fix continued OOC behaviour
Solution: Episode rewrite
The episode opens to Allura looking at the dark entity nervously, interrupted by hunk. They talk about her worries, and she’s not sure if she wants to go down to the festivities as her mood would just ruin a good time. Hank guffaws, “aw, c’mon allura! It’ll be fun, you’ll forget about everything. Besides, Lance is just going to give you those puppy dog eyes of him until you join us.” Allura laughs and agrees to go. As they leave the room, the camera zooms in on the dark entity beating against the wall. Periodically, the episode cuts back to the dark entity, at one point breaking the glass that contains it.
Allura, Hunk, Pidge, and Lance want to go together; keith insists on patrolling the area in order to make sure everything is safe. Shiro also decides to go off on his own. Before he can leave, Veronica catches Shiro watching Keith leave the group, appears behind Shiro, and gives her friend and captain a little shove. “Go on,” she urges, her eyes going to Keith. “Have fun.”
“I.. I shouldn’t. We agreed to wait until this is all over.”
With a smile, Veronica touches his arm and says, “You should know better than anyone how little time we have to live out our dreams.” With a thank you, Shiro calls after his friend.
Most of the episode is spent on Allura with the other three paladins, having fun with them, to highlight that she is having a good time. Lance trying to win a blue lion plush for her stays, but using a different game (one allura wouldn’t destroy at); and the scene with pidge and colleen stays as well. Allura and Hunk both eye the test of strength, hunk because there’s a HUGE yellow lion. He tries once and doesn’t get it; so allura offers to try, “You really think you’re up for it little lady?” mocks the carnival worker. “I suppose we won’t know until i’ve tried.” Pretending she can’t do it, “oh my, this hammer is quite heavy,” she then proceeds to whack the hell out of it, sending the bell on top right into the sky. They then walk away with hunk blushing and holding his new, massive yellow lion.
Through out the episode, there are cuts to Coran, who is still doing the Yalmor calling competition, but it’s reframed to have the same level of intensity and shadiness as the armwrestling tournament and ultimately replaces that storyline.
The scene cuts to Keith and Shiro playing darts, Keith looking intense as he’s about to throw the dart. He does, nailing a balloon that’s revealed to have one point; keith hollars in defeat and turns to shiro:” “best four out of seven!” Shiro laughs, saying they should play a different game instead.
Shiro comments that he hasn’t seen Keith relax like this in a long time, who answers in kind. “Things have been hard. We haven’t exactly had a break in over a year.” Keith pauses, thinking, before he turns with a smile to Shiro. “But you’re right. Today’s been a lot of fun. I’m glad we hung out, Shiro.” They turn to each other, smiling. Shiro’s arm reaches out, but he’s interrupted by a loud wailing that startles the both of them. “Coran?”
The penultimate scene is Coran winning the yalmor contest, receiving the cheers and celebration of the paladins (AS HE DESERVES). As the excitement dies down, Allura turns her head to the sky and pauses. Shiro, separating himself from the excitement, asks Allura if something is wrong. “...There’s something I’m worried about.”
Shiro and Allura return to the Atlas where they find the dark entity has escaped from its chamber. It breaks free from the holding room and dives toward shiro, but not reaching him before allura jumps in the way, quintessence bursting from her and she suddenly absorbs the dark entity. Shiro catches her
Additions:
because i’m reformatting the energy of why allura takes on the dark entity, the mood around it is being shuffled around entirely. Allura constanting having to defend her bad decision is perhaps one of the worst offenders of allura’s personality as the season progresses from this point, and so changing the mood in which she takes on the dark entity should fix that.
Edited 2019-01-09 16:51 (UTC)
RESOLVED: s10e2
Problems: The fact that the paladins so willingly accept the decision that allura made is ridiculous. It kills the idea of “found family” that Voltron had worked so hard to create and now puts the weight of the entire world on one characters shoulder, ANOTHER theme that all of them have been learning on their own not to do. I’ve already reformatted the nature of which Allura takes on the dark entity
Solution: The discussion in the meeting room is reframed. Allura admits that she has already tried and failed to remove the dark entity from herself, likely just due to the fact that it’s herself she must work on. Keith is the one to suggest that they try to use it to their advantage, “That thing let Honerva take control of the other Alteans. Maybe we can use it to get control of her.”
Before they go, the other paladins ask if Shiro wants to come with. “You’ve been with us since the beginning. It’s only right you see this through to the end.” but he declines–the Atlas needs him right now and he believes in the other paladins to do this. Group hug commence, shiro commenting how proud he is of them all.
When keith is separated from the paladins, he's able to focus enough on their quintessence and actually see them beyond the darkness.
Addition: I think it would be interesting for Allura to exhibit signs of increased aggression since taking on the dark entity, and very quickly establishing that her mood is because of it and no fault of the paladins.
Problems: The fact that the paladins so willingly accept the decision that allura made is ridiculous. It kills the idea of “found family” that Voltron had worked so hard to create and now puts the weight of the entire world on one characters shoulder, ANOTHER theme that all of them have been learning on their own not to do. I’ve already reformatted the nature of which Allura takes on the dark entity
Solution: The discussion in the meeting room is reframed. Allura admits that she has already tried and failed to remove the dark entity from herself, likely just due to the fact that it’s herself she must work on. Keith is the one to suggest that they try to use it to their advantage, “That thing let Honerva take control of the other Alteans. Maybe we can use it to get control of her.”
Before they go, the other paladins ask if Shiro wants to come with. “You’ve been with us since the beginning. It’s only right you see this through to the end.” but he declines–the Atlas needs him right now and he believes in the other paladins to do this. Group hug commence, shiro commenting how proud he is of them all.
When keith is separated from the paladins, he's able to focus enough on their quintessence and actually see them beyond the darkness.
Addition: I think it would be interesting for Allura to exhibit signs of increased aggression since taking on the dark entity, and very quickly establishing that her mood is because of it and no fault of the paladins.
Edited 2019-01-09 17:19 (UTC)
RESOLVED: s10e3
Problems: Who the fuck thought it was appropriate that Allura outright torture Zarkon upon seeing him?
Solution: As mentioned, Allura’s behaviour has been altered after possessing the dark entity; she’s more violent and prone to outbursts. Upon seeing Zarkon, she moves to assault him, but is cut off by Lance, “Allura! Stop. Let him speak.” Instead of the tortured flashback, Zarkon recounts for all of the paladins the dark entity that took him over as well when he went into the rift. He apologizes for what he’s done, blaming himself for his selfishness, remorseful that he can’t take it back. Allura grimaces and shouts that nothing can ever take back what he’s done.
“Princess…. The dark entity that affected me is affecting you now, just the same. I am sure in your right mind, you would feel as I do for what that thing may make you do.”
Problems: Who the fuck thought it was appropriate that Allura outright torture Zarkon upon seeing him?
Solution: As mentioned, Allura’s behaviour has been altered after possessing the dark entity; she’s more violent and prone to outbursts. Upon seeing Zarkon, she moves to assault him, but is cut off by Lance, “Allura! Stop. Let him speak.” Instead of the tortured flashback, Zarkon recounts for all of the paladins the dark entity that took him over as well when he went into the rift. He apologizes for what he’s done, blaming himself for his selfishness, remorseful that he can’t take it back. Allura grimaces and shouts that nothing can ever take back what he’s done.
“Princess…. The dark entity that affected me is affecting you now, just the same. I am sure in your right mind, you would feel as I do for what that thing may make you do.”
Edited 2019-01-09 16:53 (UTC)
RESOLVED: s10e4
Problems: This episode honestly just has a lot of wasted time that can be better spent elsewhere. More time should be spent on the finale (which I intend to expand on). There are also little problems I have here and there,such as the continued theme of ‘the good guys always lose”
Solution: basically, my desire is to cut this episode down in half and include the beginning of the following episode.
The episode starts out with one of the Olkari explaining to Pidge about how they’ve made a number of adjustments on the Altas, including changes in some of the material composition. In the last few deca-pheobs the olkari have been working on a material that emulates the same stuff that voltron is made out of. While it’s not perfect, it’s resilience is remarkable. The scene jumps over to keith and lance talking as is originally set. Another scene features coran worrying over Allura. Hunk’s whereabouts are explained in a conversation between himself and Adam over the radios. A brief respite before the episode kicks it into high gear.
During the scene where the Alteans steal the energy of the Atlas’s crystal, Shiro does actually try to stop the alteans, but is thrown back and knocked unconscious, another burst of energy knocks the rest out of consciousness as well. Successful, the alteans die, and the ship, drained of all its energy, shuts down. Voltron is in a panic without Hunk there to form Voltron, and Honerva has enough power to tear open the rift (The scene with Honerva stealing energy from the balmera is being cut, it’s just weird.)
It seems like all hope is lost, until Shiro regains consciousness, pausing to lift himself up. “This isn’t the end,” he mutters, reaching for the crystal and grabbing onto it. As soon as he makes contact, his eyes burst with white and another lion’s roar can be heard, surging the ship with newfound energy. Coran, now conscious, comments “Did anyone else hear that?” Adam and Veronica quickly begin to check readouts, announcing that they need more power. Just in the nick of time, Hunk arrives with a slew of balmera following after him, quickly commanded to force as much energy they can into the atlas. The surge of energy goes Shiro as well, glowing. “Something’s happening to my lion!” “Mine too!” Voltatlas is formed in a burst of light.
“Don’t worry about us!” Coran offers as Voltatlas heads toward the rift, “We’ll have this rift taken care of in no time!” At the helm of the Atlas, He gets his own little voltron V-scene with the balmera on his right side and the Galra flying in on his left. He smirks. “Voltron is counting on us,” he grins as voltron disappears into the void.
Allura’s eyes go wide and she whispers: “Altea.”
Problems: This episode honestly just has a lot of wasted time that can be better spent elsewhere. More time should be spent on the finale (which I intend to expand on). There are also little problems I have here and there,such as the continued theme of ‘the good guys always lose”
Solution: basically, my desire is to cut this episode down in half and include the beginning of the following episode.
The episode starts out with one of the Olkari explaining to Pidge about how they’ve made a number of adjustments on the Altas, including changes in some of the material composition. In the last few deca-pheobs the olkari have been working on a material that emulates the same stuff that voltron is made out of. While it’s not perfect, it’s resilience is remarkable. The scene jumps over to keith and lance talking as is originally set. Another scene features coran worrying over Allura. Hunk’s whereabouts are explained in a conversation between himself and Adam over the radios. A brief respite before the episode kicks it into high gear.
During the scene where the Alteans steal the energy of the Atlas’s crystal, Shiro does actually try to stop the alteans, but is thrown back and knocked unconscious, another burst of energy knocks the rest out of consciousness as well. Successful, the alteans die, and the ship, drained of all its energy, shuts down. Voltron is in a panic without Hunk there to form Voltron, and Honerva has enough power to tear open the rift (The scene with Honerva stealing energy from the balmera is being cut, it’s just weird.)
It seems like all hope is lost, until Shiro regains consciousness, pausing to lift himself up. “This isn’t the end,” he mutters, reaching for the crystal and grabbing onto it. As soon as he makes contact, his eyes burst with white and another lion’s roar can be heard, surging the ship with newfound energy. Coran, now conscious, comments “Did anyone else hear that?” Adam and Veronica quickly begin to check readouts, announcing that they need more power. Just in the nick of time, Hunk arrives with a slew of balmera following after him, quickly commanded to force as much energy they can into the atlas. The surge of energy goes Shiro as well, glowing. “Something’s happening to my lion!” “Mine too!” Voltatlas is formed in a burst of light.
“Don’t worry about us!” Coran offers as Voltatlas heads toward the rift, “We’ll have this rift taken care of in no time!” At the helm of the Atlas, He gets his own little voltron V-scene with the balmera on his right side and the Galra flying in on his left. He smirks. “Voltron is counting on us,” he grins as voltron disappears into the void.
Allura’s eyes go wide and she whispers: “Altea.”
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